Monday morning blues

This morning was hard, harder than usual anyway. I'm usually really upbeat about autism and how it manifests itself within our family but this morning it took over and broke me down.

It started off calmly, Bella got up happily enough and sang and danced her way downstairs and she even giggled looking at me at the top of the stairs and said "down...stairs, mummy."

Then out of nowhere the tide turned, there were no warning signs other than her iPad dying but that didn't seem to be her main concern.

She got herself into such a state that she was hysterical. Meltdown was underway.

Wearing clothes, any clothes seemed to be the main trigger. The minutes were ticking away before the school bus arrived and Paul and I were planning other ways to get her school as there just seemed no way she was going.

As usual in this situation Logan was having to fend for himself, having to be understanding and considerate. Skills which are really beyond his years and have been his whole life.

Paul and I were kicked and hit as tears rolled down her cheeks. She used us both separately for deep pressure and then during a hug with me she started laughing...and like that the meltdown was broken...like a fever when the medication kicks in...except I have no idea what the turning point was.

She then got dressed without complaint and had a drink and walked out to her school bus as if the last hour hadn't happened.

I don't know if these episodes have a lasting effect on Bella but the rest of us definitely feel the aftershock.

Hopefully she'll have been her usual, happy go lucky self today at school and tomorrow will indeed be another day.

A poorly kind of week

Bella has been poorly this weekend with a high temperature and possible sore throat. That's the worst thing about having a child with communication difficulties it's all a guessing game. When she's poorly she takes her self off to bed and stays there. She is quiet, she gets into no trouble. It's all a bit disconcerting.

The other difficulty is that she won't take medicine at all, and no I can't hide it in drinks or yogurts as she can sniff it out like a hound dog. For years I struggled to get her temperatures and illnesses under control and battled with medical professionals telling me to "use force."  Ha ok, this girl is a force of nature and no amount of being held down and having calpol squirted down her throat would result in anything other than her being sick.

Then one day when we were in hospital being patronised by a consultant  (after the nurses and on call doctors couldn't get close enough to Bella's mouth to examine her toncills) She asked why we don't use paracetamol suppositories....Well because at age six no doctor had ever mentioned such a thing and I am not exactly medically trained. Apparently as parents we're meant to be psychic enough to know what medications are available but not too psychic as to undermine the professionals themselves. It's a massive juggling act.

Aaaanyway suppositories have changed our life. When Bella is really poorly I can usually manage a swift suppository insert during a nappy change without too much resistance and getting proper pain killer in her is a game changer.

SO IF YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT THEM ASK YOUR GP  😊

#autism

Lucky number 7!

Bella is seven, how this happened I don't know. Having a child with an additional need means that age doesn't often run in the same linear pattern that it does for regular kids. On the surface, physically Bella is every inch the 7 year old. She is tall and lithe and would make a fantastic dancer.

Emotionally she falls way down on the scale, probably below the age of a toddler. She doesn't recognize (or appear to recognize) emotions in people although she can differentiate between them in books. Somebody crying has no affect on her, if you have fallen down and broken your leg but she wants you to open a packet of crisps...let's just say you'll have opened the crisps before calling for an ambulance.  Intelligence is very hard to gauge, she remembers information she has seen or read and can regurgitate at her own will (note that's her will not anyone elses!) Is this intelligence or more a party trick? She knows a quadrilateral from a rhombus and can go onto a laptop internet browser and find exactly the precise Youtube video she wants in seconds...I think that's pretty smart.

So yes, now she is seven and growing up fast. She is taking teeny tiny baby steps every day and gaining independence with it. I'm trying to help too by letting her spread her wings a little, but it's scary. Having a flight risk who runs like Usain Bolt is more than scary it's bloody terrifying.

We'll get there, she'll get there. Here she is on the big day: