School Residential!

So Bella has been invited to go on an 2 night residential trip with school. Cue me whipping myself up into an absolute panic! Last week there was a meeting at school so I went along to do my due diligence (and confirm that it's not for Bella.)

My overriding feeling was just that...not for Bella. Sleeping away from home for two nights, no iPad, 3 meals of not her specified food, outdoor events, no iPad, sleeping in communal rooms and again NO IPAD! I've been worried about this trip for about two years so going was really a formality so that I couldn't be accused of overreacting.

I sat down in the meeting trying to hold my emotions together, just the thought of Bella going makes me want to cry uncontrollably.

These are the actual facts, the things I need to consider...hang on did I say consider?

*Location is just over an hour away and accessible day and night
*Her school have been going to the centre for 12 years and know it inside out
*Her class teacher is going
*All doors in the accommodation are either lockable or (if a fire door) alarmed
*I can send her with chocolate spread and crackers for if she won't eat anything else
*They've given the option of her just staying one night if preferred
*Most importantly they've said as her iPad is more than a toy that she could take it with her
*She will have two to one as usual
*They're happy to medicate (ie crush tablets in chocolate spread 😂)

I must admit that I'm swaying now, I don't know how this happened? I was reminded that her teachers look after her everyday, they take her out into the community all the time. Just this week she went into Birmingham city centre to watch the pantomime which surely entails many more dangers than the residential?

Have any of your children been on overnight trips and how did they/you cope?

The cracks are appearing

Logan copes really well.
He is doing fine.
He's ok.

This is what I hear all the time.  There are times when I doubt his diagnosis, when I doubt my concerns and myself.  And then there are times when his autism is glaringly obvious, when he doesn't recognize someone he's known for over a year because they had a shave, when he refuses to speak to someone randomly because it's a new environment, or when he's almost reduced to tears because something minor didn't go exactly to his plan.  In those moments I know he is not coping, not fine or ok.

But what do you do when school invariably tell you he's ok, that the SENCO doesn't really need to see you, they have no concerns?  It all sounds great, except Logan invariably doesn't want to go to school, he's started saying he has a stomach ache again before school.  He gets upset that he doesn't get the level of praise that he sees other children getting, not that I think he should get more or less than he deserves but he is driven by praise.

This week I saw a glimmer of hope in the shape of a CAT worker (Communication Autism Team.) Having a diagnosis of autism in Birmingham means that you "should" automatically get assigned a CAT worker once your child is in school. Like anything relating to schools and autism there are the good and the...not so good.  Ours is great, heralded even. People hear of ours from different areas and are jealous. During reception Logan only had one class visit with him, the teachers reported very few concerns and really he was fitting in superbly, not forgetting the fact that his teacher has an autistic son "just like Logan" so she got him.  He liked her a lot.

Fast forward to this school year and he had a visit last week, once again I was told that the school had informed him that there were no concerns.  In the grand scheme of things I guess there aren't, he can read and write at an age appropriate level, he doesn't cause trouble or stand out.  Then I spotted this line in his report, I couldn't have put it better myself:

I need to address it with school but I don't really know what to say, there were lots of other snippets of information in the report regarding his immaturity in emotional/social situations as well as him not being able to express himself. I know it needs to be addressed but I think I need to have a plan, I need to know what outcome I want to see happen next.  Fobbing me off is easy, I need an outcome that I can see and measure so that at the next 3 minute parents evening I hear more than: "He's doing well."

Back to school

 We're back to school this week, is anyone else nervous?  When Bella went back last September after a summer of chronic screentime and lazy mornings the fan was hit with the proverbial sticky stuff.  There were tears, hitting, kicking and school transport buses driving off leaving us on the curb.  This year I have to get her on the bus and then get Logan into school, I feel I can do nothing but cross my fingers. I mention school now and again to try and creep it back into her psyche but it does nothing more than freak her out, so I stop.

Logan on the other hand is super excited, for now. I know him well enough to be on my guard, there are a lot of changes a coming. Have any of you prepped your nonverbal kiddies? 

Time to end the schools stigma.

My daughter Bella (age almost 7) goes to a special school *insert shocked/pity face* Sometimes I call it that and often get the faces I described above, but more often I call it an Autism specific school because that’s what it is. I’m not sure if this is a real term or one I made up for myself but I like it.